


nothing hurts when i'm alone (when you're with me and we're alone)

by irene123



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bodyguard, Bodyguard Romance, Bonding over books, Corrupt Politicians, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Look at all those chickens, Mutual Pining, Near Death Experiences, Pining, Romance, Theonsa - Freeform, but here we go, i don't feel confident in this, i don't know why i tagged anyone else they barely speak but they're around, i guess, light mentions of anxiety, making out in dark safe rooms, slow and awkward romance, soft theon, theon shutting down ramsay's dickatude, this is so theonsa centric with light cameos by catelyn and podrick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 17:03:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20177719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irene123/pseuds/irene123
Summary: The North’s first female president, The River and the Hills born Catelyn Tully Stark is set to take office. Theon, a data analyst at the Winterfell Intelligence Service office, is transferred to the presidential security detail team. He gets assigned to protect the president’s oldest daughter, Sansa Stark, who is set on causing him trouble from the moment they met.





	nothing hurts when i'm alone (when you're with me and we're alone)

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to illbefinealone for recommending my fics on her tumblr. thanks to that post and me clicking around her blog I ended up on her book review blog and suddenly had the b plot for this fic.  
the title is from hostage by billie eilish  
if you want to talk to me, you can now also do it on twitter [@irene123fromao3](https://twitter.com/irene123fromao3)  
I went over this just once, and I'm not really confident in it, but I hope it's okay.  
all comments and kudos are welcome and appreciated. fingers crossed you enjoy.

**one**

There wasn't a discussion about it, not really.

Sansa Stark landed in Theon's arms as his first major assignment. A post it note was stuck on the computer screen in his cubicle saying that he needed to go to the director's office.

He had only worked small jobs before. A helping hand here and there, filling in for people who had called in sick, or whenever there were big jobs and they needed an extra just in hand. He had never been first draft, though. Not until that moment.

Not until he was put in charge of Sansa Stark's safety and security team.

* * *

Theon hadn't taken his backpack, or his jacket off yet. He was in the office for maybe a minute, having just walked into his cubicle when he realized he got called into the director's office. He suspected that he was going to get fired. He sure didn't expect what was to follow.

He knocked on the glass of the wide open office door, right under the vinyl stickers that read Varys, Director of Winterfell's Intelligence Service, to which the bald man raised his head to look at the intruder. He nodded as a permission for Theon to walk into the office, and then Theon did just that.

"Close the door, Greyjoy. And take a seat," Varys then said, and Theon did as he was told.

"What can I help you with, sir?"

"We're reassigning you," the man announced.

"For how long?"

It had happened before. Whenever some politician was visiting, or someone was sick on some security detail, Theon, thanks to his experience in the army for a few years, and the police for a couple of months was the first on the list to fill in the position. He liked his work as a data analyst a whole lot, but he liked security even more, it was more exciting to him. He liked the adrenaline of it.

"Permanently," Varys said to Theon's surprise. He then passed him a tan paper folder, Theon hurried to accept it.

"Presidential security team?"

"There's a whole lot of Starks now. They need men like you on the team. With your experience, they decided on that position for you."

"Right," he had heard something about the amount of Starks, but he wasn't sure. Theon wasn't big on politics. He didn't follow their lives closely, he wasn't interested in relationships and number of kids. He did however read and base his opinions on their policies. He also did vote for Catelyn Tully Stark.

Sansa Stark, that's what the folder was marked on the little flap on its side. Theon was excited to look inside.

"You're not just a security guard, though. You're being put in charge of her security detail."

"Oh."

"You can handle it, Greyjoy. I wouldn't have given you this job if I thought that you couldn't."

"Thank you, sir," Theon dared say.

"Clean out your desk and report two floors down. Look for Seaworth, you'll be working close with him."

"Okay."

Theon was still taking in all the information when Varys interrupted him.

"Leave, Greyjoy."

"Yes sir," he quickly returned and stood up, straightening his shirt right after. Just as he was about to turn around and head out, Varys' voice stopped him for one last thing.

"You know, if you don't fuck this up, and I don't see a way for you to do so, you're going to have a job for at least the next four years."

Right. That's what was at stake here.

"Thank you, sir."

It wasn't much of a confidence boost, but Theon appreciated it.

Cause of course he wasn't going to fuck it up. How could he?

* * *

Easily. He could easily fuck it all up.

As he got to meet the Starks the following day in a meeting to discuss their security details and how the inauguration was going to play out, one of the first things Theon noticed was how entitled Sansa Stark was acting, and all of it with her eyes. She was giving him side eyes, rolling her eyes at him or not making any eye-contact. She went through an entire tantrum in just that short period of time. She was fucking irritating.

If she wasn't his new boss, he would've told her exactly that.

He knew there was more to her than the folder, timid with a shellfish allergy wasn't a person, it was barely 'p'. But he surely didn't expect this attitude.

But he had to play nice. And he had to say something, anything, to smooth over whatever was ruffled, and make it right. Maybe talking to her would help him figure out what was wrong.

He caught up with her when the meeting ended, as the entire family was walking out of the office.

"Miss, may I speak with you for a moment."

Sansa nodded, hanging back while everyone else exited through the door. It was a few awkward moments of silence that allowed Theon to both panic and figure out exactly what to say. Those moments also allowed him to get a better look of her. He wondered how much she weighed, not in any weird way, solely because he also wondered whether or not he should up the amount of weight he lifted at the gym. Just in case.

"Go ahead," she said as soon as the door closed.

"I hope we're not getting off on the wrong foot."

"Why would we? It's not like you're assigned to control me and what I do," she responded, her words leaving her lips almost rhythmically.

"I'm not assigned to control you. I'm assigned to keep you safe. I'll do everything in my power to do so, no matter the situation."

She seemed to be calling bullshit on that, by the expression on her face.

"Even in shootings?" she queried.

"Yes."

"Earthquakes?"

They didn't get earthquakes in the North.

"Yes."

"But we're on the twentieth floor and I've hurt my leg," she added another variable to her scenario.

"I carry you down the stairs," he said it like it was nothing.

"Let's say I'm in a nightclub and I meet a guy."

"What about it?"

"I want to take him back to my place," the smile she was giving him had trouble written all over it, she had to be playing with him. Cause it sounded like she was flirting with him, but there was no way that could be true.

"I frisk him. Then I drive you to your place."

"Or maybe the restroom in the nightclub," she changed the scenario again.

"I sweep it before you enter. And I wait outside."

"He waits outside," Sansa repeated his words.

If he didn't know any better, he'd say she was flirting with him.

"That's my job," Theon returned.

"Standing near me is your job?"

Well, when you put it like that, sure it sounded insane.

"Yes."

"Would you hold my purse if I asked you?"

"You're the boss."

At this Sansa went quiet. She thought about it for a moment, Theon saw it, boosting his ego that he could already read her a bit. Then she said.

"One day at a time Mr. Greyjoy. I still need to warm up to the idea of having someone like you around me every minute of every day. And I'll definitely need to warm up to you."

Fucking hell.

This was going to be far more difficult than Theon originally thought.

* * *

Work didn't really suck. He knew few of the guys on the teams. The guys he was in charge of were nice and they were good at their job. He also had Podrick on his team, they had been friends since the academy, and somehow the recruitment process played in Theon's favor and he had someone he trusted from the get go.

Sansa Stark warming up to the idea of having security, as well as warming up to Theon was a long and tiring process. For Theon. Someone not understanding the danger that they're in now that their family runs the country had him dumbfounded, it was absurd. Theon sometimes wondered why it was that way, sitting on his couch and nursing a beer in front of the TV lead to him thinking about it more often than he liked to admit.

Sansa was a puzzle to him, a mystery. He had a love for both. He loved to connect dots and figure out answers rather than accepting someone else's opinions. As easy as it could have been to be able to tell right from wrong right away, Theon actually thrived in the grey areas. Sansa was the greyest area possible.

"Mr. Greyjoy."

That was how Sansa greeted him every morning, always followed by a disapproving look on her face. A month in that look was staring to soften, but it didn't matter, because he no longer minded. He was quite used to the unfriendliness, as well as the occasional sass. He'd be much more surprised if that was ever to change.

* * *

She didn't go out much. She hung around the presidential castle, there was a whole wing of her own, one of the towers in fact. She read a lot, spent a considerable amount of time in the private gym, and watched a whole lot of TV shows. Sometimes she baked, gave everyone on the staff a serving of what she had made. All of it, always irresistibly delicious. And Theon hung around her because that was his job. That was most of what he did, about seventy percent.

The other portion were trips to local animal shelters, appearances at different charity events, shopping sprees at bookshops because Sansa didn't believe in ordering books online, or sending someone to buy some for her. And not to forget, the important events organized by the president, or for the president, that the entire family had to attend. Sansa despised all of it, she once admitted to her little sister with Theon near enough to overhear.

She sometimes entertained in the palace, this was rare, but precisely because of its rarity Theon took notice of it. She didn't have many friends, there were two of them, girls she met at university that stopped by once or twice a month.

But for the most part she kept to herself. She seemed awfully comfortable that way, and that only added to the mystery Theon was trying to solve. Because while comfortable, she also seemed so unhappy with it.

* * *

Theon soon realized exactly how much Sansa didn't like any of the events she had to go to and that they only caused her stress. She had some sort of anxiety, which kind, or exactly how severe he wasn't sure of, but he was sure that he was going to find out. Because he was starting to notice it more. She went more quiet and a bit spacey, and she never went spacey when she was in the house, not at first at least.

As her appearances became more frequent, anxiety got worse, over the span of the next two months of her mother's presidency, Sansa became more closed off. By the time month number four started, her friends stopped coming. She spent more time inside her room, more time with her face in a book. Theon knew that none of it was his business, but at the same time he wondered if he should make it. They may have been just acquaintances, but that didn't mean he wished her harm. He wanted her to be okay, and he wanted her to be happy, especially knowing the pressure she was under, the stress it all brought. The rest of her family was holding up better. Her sister and younger brother were at university, her youngest brother still in high school. They all had the chance to socialize almost on the daily, and they overall seemed to be more sociable too. Her older brothers had lives made up, one of them married, the other one apparently in a committed relationship, both of them with jobs running an IT company, or something of the sort, again, Theon only overheard things and never on purpose.

Sansa seemed to be stuck in the middle, between university and whatever was going to follow, and she didn't get the chance to figure any of it out before she got thrust into the life of a first daughter. That was the conclusion Theon came to while standing in front of the conference room door, another family meeting in progress inside, another one with the matriarch missing from it.

He wished he could help her through it. He wished he knew how.

* * *

As it turned out, the thing Sansa needed in order to relax and have some sort of fun were her older brothers. They didn't live in the castle and were only visiting for the weekend, but whatever they did or said changed everything.

She softened up towards everyone almost immediately. She started smiling, and doing it more often.

Nothing was the same after.

And Theon was only to learn exactly how much she was changed.

**two**

"Which one?"

Sansa was holding up two books in her hands, showing them to Theon. They were in her favorite bookshop, one she went to once a week. There were two guards with concealed weapons at the entrance and one in the corner covering that part of the shop. Theon was right by her side, never leaving it.

What she was asking seemed like a trick question.

"Both?" he suggested in response.

"Well, obviously. Which one do I _read_ first?"

"I don't know, depends on what they're about, miss."

Sansa eyed him, surprised by his answer.

"We'll decide in the car, then," she then said

"Yes, miss."

He watched as she took two copies of each of the books that caught her eye. This was odd to him, as he had never seen her do it before, she always took one, and never more than three books. This time, with ten books in her shopping cart, Sansa proceeded to walk to the cash register, and kindly asked for the copies to be split into two bags. As they exited the shop, she handed one of the bags to Theon.

"These are for you," she then told him.

"May I ask why?"

"We're starting a book club."

"A book club?" it was Theon's turn to be surprised.

"Yes. And you have the honor of picking our first book out of those two."

* * *

Theon read sometimes, but he never read thrillers, especially not war, political or psychological ones like Sansa did. He had enough of politics in his real life to last him a lifetime and war was a psychological trauma he knew first hand.

His genre of preference was fantasy, he also liked the classics, with a soft spot for the ladies who wrote. He liked George Eliot, Jane Austen was okay, and of course there were the Bronte sisters who he had read more than once. He had a special love for Anne as he found her most palatable out of the three sisters, and out of most classic writers.

He did one book at a time, a chapter or two before bed, as it helped him fall asleep easier. It was in his night time routine, right after brushing his teeth and moisturizer, but before his night time affirmations. He did those because his therapist suggested.

When Sansa gave him the books and had him pick, none of the choices excited him, really. So he went for what seemed to be the less painful one, and he picked the one with least pages in it. And it was a good choice, a psychological thriller about a woman who lost her memories, just one of the many that had been released as Sansa explained to him, it was a trend as of late.

It was more entertaining than he expected it to be. He stayed up an extra hour at night so he could read it faster, it took him four nights in total. Sansa finished it in a day. Then again, she had a bit more free time on her hands.

  


Theon had never been in a book club. The closest thing he'd ever come to it was a review he left online for a new release that he read and loved dearly. Starting one with his employer was not something he ever thought he would do, but here they were.

"I thought it was paced really well," he said, not meaning to sound shy as he spoke. It came off that way because he had absolutely no idea what he was doing or how this thing worked.

"I did too. I also liked the characters," with agreeing with him, Sansa urged him on.

"Yeah, there was a nice dynamic between them," he added, and felt a bit more comfortable, so he spoke more freely, "The dialogue was really well written, it felt natural."

"What about the story?"

"It was okay. Nothing too gripping. There were a few WTF moments, but not enough."

Sansa nodded as he spoke, seeming to agree again.

"And how it involved a train was a bit on the nose about which book it was trying to copy," she chimed in.

This reference Theon got, but only because he had seen the movie.

"Yeah, it really was," he agreed.

"So what are we reading next?"

"What about something lighter?" Theon suggested.

"Lighter?"

"Not a thriller."

"Sure," Sansa once again nodded, this time seconding it with a smile.

"But you pick. A genre you haven't read in a while."

"Okay."

"Can I go back to calling you miss, now?"

"Sure," she smiled again.

Sansa Stark was growing onto him, dangerously so.

Fuck his luck.

* * *

"Can you help me with this?"

"Sure, miss."

Theon tried. He tried not to touch her, but it was impossible. The zipper on her dress was too close to her skin, and she asked him to zip her up.

She was getting ready to go out. A friend had asked her if she could join, and Theon saw how her face lit up when she got the invitation, he knew she would agree. For a couple of weeks the only socializing she got was Theon and her family, and she didn't see her family quite often. If it was him, he'd go absolutely crazy three times over by now.

She had a bodycon dress on, her hair was styled in a half-up, she had some make up on, enough to somehow make her seem more confident. He had never seen her so made up. The feeling he got when he saw her had him confused. The feeling he got when he touched her skin was one he'd experienced only once before. He wasn't supposed to feel anything. So he did his best to shake it away.

* * *

After that first night, Sansa just continued to go out. The sudden change in her behavior wasn't surprising, now that she saw it was possible to go out without being bothered cause she had five security guards with her and a body guard right by her side, she did. She did it at least three times a week. It was a whole lot of work for Theon and the guys, but he didn't mind. He liked that she was having fun. Not that he thought about that at all, ever, definitely not before bed.

Theon wished he knew if she was that way when she was a teenager too, or if this was out of character. It sure was out of character for the months he had known her.

* * *

After a while, she didn't seem to be having fun with any of it. And Theon suspected that it was because she really wasn't the going out type.

All the clues pointed to it, and he wanted to smack himself for not noticing it sooner, but it was obvious to him now. She was lonely. This was her way of trying not to be. It was her way of doing what she could to fill the hole in her life that was growing larger by the day.

Her family kept to themselves, which made it worse. Her younger brothers weren't really interested in hanging out with her, high school boys are always too cool for that sort of thing. Her dad stopped by on occasion for some desert and a chat, but that was far from enough to make her feel better about it all. Her sister was at university, just starting out, and only swinging by the castle twice a month. He older brothers didn't live there either, they in fact shared a house with a floor for each of them, as Theon remembered from the one time they visited, and they ran a business together on the other side of town. They swung by rarely, which was a shame, considering spending time with Sansa was something they absolutely did a lot of.

**three**

She got in trouble for it.

There were paparazi waiting in front, and at the back of the club Sansa liked, snapping her picture both at arrival and at departure, coincidentally, two nights in a row. So Sansa got called to her mother's office and got told to stop. Not asked. Told. Theon was waiting outside, but he still heard it, the president had already grown a reputation for being loud behind closed doors, but he finally got to witness it first... well, second hand.

She was calling her daughter selfish. She was telling her that she was putting her presidency in jeopardy. She was making it about herself.

She then called him in.

"She's grounded. You're making sure she stays that way," the president said to him.

"My apologies, ma'am, but I'm afraid that's not in my jurisdiction."

Theon didn't want to be that guy. He really didn't want to be that guy.

"Tough shit, now it is."

Jesus fucking Christ.

Sansa was looking at him with a look Theon couldn't quite read. She was either angry or furious or disappointed, or maybe she was desperate. Theon had never witnessed her processing any of those emotions and so he had no idea what was going through her head. But he was certain that he was going to find out all about it soon.

* * *

It changed.

After the president ordered Theon to be Sansa's nanny, the way they communicated changed completely. She went back to the cold unwilling participant she was the day he met her. The person who didn't want to hear a single word he was saying. He hated that the progress they made was now in vain.

Each of his attempts failed. When he asked her if they would meet up about book club again, she ignored him.

* * *

He left her books. Twice a week, after work and on his way home he'd go to the bookstore and pick up a title he thought she'd enjoy. The next day, in the morning before she woke up, he'd leave it on the kitchen counter and turn the coffee machine on for her.

He did the same thing with DVDs. She had a player in her living room, and a screen that was larger than Theon had ever owned. She liked movies, talked to him about what she had seen sometimes, before...

It didn't matter. He just liked that he could do that little thing for her.

Cause he had no idea what else to do, anyway.

He had never been in this spot before.

He wanted to be able to do so much. But he just wasn't.

* * *

"I'm sorry. I hate this as much as you do."

Sansa was once again baking, stretching a large dough ball on the kitchen counter. She had been baking a whole lot since she got grounded.

They were alone, it was the only reason why he allowed himself to say such a thing. But he desperately wanted her to know.

"Sure you do," she returned. She was not looking at him at all and it broke Theon's heart, "Like you care how I feel."

This statement made him angry, and he wasn't sure why, but before he knew it he was defending himself to her, approaching her in wide but silent steps.

"Of course I care. Why wouldn't I?" he lowered his voice, as if he was afraid that someone would hear. Why he did that was another thing he wasn't sure of. He had nothing to hide. Or at least he wasn't supposed to.

"Hold this," Sansa said, passing him a bowl of whipped egg whites which he immediately accepted.

"Sansa."

It took her a few moments. She ignored him, kept folding he meringue in her batter in complete silence. Theon was ready to give up.

"I don't believe you," she finally said.

There wasn't really a way to get her to believe him. At least he said it, he said his truth. Whatever followed was up to her.

* * *

The highest point of Sansa's week was a Friday, and her brothers had decided to pay her a visit.

They brought junk food and board games, and stayed there for hours. Every single time Theon heard laughter coming from her room, he felt a bit more ease.

He was hoping it could all help, get her to feel better.

* * *

"Does anyone want a slice of cake?" Sansa's voice echoed throughout the hallway. Or maybe not exactly echoed, but it felt that way as Theon hadn't slept nearly enough the previous night. It was kind of loud though. Or also maybe not.

He probably shouldn't have come to work. But that little moment they shared the previous day in the kitchen was sure to be misconstrued if he didn't show up. It was a slow day anyway. They weren't going to leave the house that day.

Theon didn't respond to Sansa's question. He didn't even face her, he looked ahead and through the window that was in front of him. He was closest to her, but he needed the distance.

So many months in, the word had spread about Sansa's baking. Even the new guy, who was there for the day as a fill in for Podrick, was interested in the cake she was promising.

"Theon, lend me a hand," she then said, having just counted the pieces of cake she needed to serve.

A request he had to comply with.

"Yes miss."

  


When he walked into the kitchen and closed the door behind himself, when they became hidden from everyone else, Sansa was dangerously close to him and she was only getting closer.

It caught Theon off guard. He couldn't move.

It disrupted every thought in his mind.

And all of that happened before she kissed him.

Her lips were soft and tasted of honey scented lip balm.

She kissed him carefully, tenderly.

But it shattered his entire world, grabbing onto all of his emotion and giving it a great little twist.

When she ended the kiss, she took a step back and then took a moment to inspect his facial expression. She nodded a few times, locking her eyes with his, then spoke.

"Okay," she said and nodded again, "Cake, Theon. Help me cut it?"

Theon cleared his throat, gathering himself to the best of his abilities.

"Yes miss."

* * *

Confusing. That's what Sansa Stark was.

She had to know that nothing could happen between them, she just had to.

She had to know that he felt the same way, but it just couldn't...

She was just so fucking confusing.

**four**

He had to ignore it, he decided. All the feelings that the kiss provoked in him, the twists that turned into pain in his stomach from ignoring it weren't important. The butterflies either.

He couldn't risk not seeing her anymore.

* * *

"Mr. Greyjoy. Enter."

"You asked for me ma'am?"

In fact she did. Theon got called in for a short meeting with the president in the central wing of the Winterfell castle, a short walk to the back west tower that Sansa had all to herself.

He was nervous about the meeting, though he knew what it would be about. He hadn't spend any one on one time with the most powerful woman in the North, and with that all of Westeros, that's what was eating at him.

"I was just wondering how things were going," she asked him, then looked at the papers she had in front of her.

"I do not understand."

"How is Sansa? And please, don't hold back."

"Miserable. Even more so than usual."

"Usual?"

"She's never been particularly happy, ma'am."

"Oh," she finally looked up, only for a moment, "You think I should ease up on her. Again, don't hold back."

"Yes," he said, then gulped in disbelief of the courage it took to speak so freely with the president, "She's not really the going out type. I don't think..."

"Then why did she do it?" she interrupted him, her eyes down at the document she was signing.

"Her friends weren't... aren't visiting. It was her only chance at seeing them and socializing."

"Why aren't they visiting?"

"I don't know, ma'am," Theon shrugged, "It's nothing on our part."

"Okay. Thank you."

He was surprised by how cold the woman seemed to be during the exchange. He wondered if she was that way with her kids too. Or maybe if she was in the mindset of a president and couldn't allow herself to switch it off at this moment.

"Anytime, ma'am."

"If she wants to go the bookstore, or shopping, she can. And she can go out too, but only once a week. At least for now."

"Do you want me to pass the message?"

"Yes," she looked up a second and final time, "You're excused."

"Yes ma'am."

* * *

With those information, Theon rushed to tell Sansa.

"If you want to go shopping you can. And you can go out with your friends once a week."

Sansa looked at him with disbelief on her face. She wanted to know what her mom has said, everyone was kind of buzzing with it ever since they found out he was called to a meeting. He wanted her to know too.

"She told you that?" she asked, "Why didn't she tell me?"

"I don't know, miss."

"You can stop with the formalities."

"I don't understand."

"Theon, please," his name came through her lips with a special meaning attached to it, "Don't be weird about it. Don't act like you don't want this," she said, gesturing at the space between them.

Oh.

He did. He so fucking did. But he couldn't. Right?

"Sansa," he wanted to warn her not to say another word cause it was getting too much for him, and it was like she read right through him.

"Alright then. I want to go to the bookshop. Get the car and everyone else ready," she said to him and straightened her skirt.

"Right away, Miss Stark."

* * *

For a moment, the tiniest one that has ever been possible, Theon couldn't believe his eyes.

He decided to be the one outside that day and sent Podrick inside with Sansa. He needed a moment. She was even more confusing after the conversation they had. He needed the distance. He was considering calling in sick the following day.

But when she exited the bookstore and handed him a paperback, Theon knew he was fucked.

"Book club is back on," was all she said, five words. Then the five that followed, made it worse. _Love and Other Alien Experiences_ was the title of the book Sansa had handed him.

Holy fucking shit.

**five**

There was a security scare at the castle. The alarm was flaring all around. It that had happened in the middle of the night.

When Theon received a frantic call by Sansa herself at three in the morning, and heard the commotion in the background, he started getting dressed out of his pajamas and into his suit. Within minutes, he was ready to go back to work, and he was still on the phone with her.

"These two are taking me to the safe room," she said to him.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know. I need you here."

"I'll be there in ten minutes," he promised her and rushed out of the door.

  


The castle was on lock down.

Apparently someone had broken in and had managed to sneak past the guards at the front east tower and had taken a nice and casual walk towards the centre of the building where the president's office and rooms were located, destroying furniture and art pieces along the way. He found out what was going on through his ear piece, as he was already at the front gate.

Because of the special circumstances, beside needing his ID card and the security pass for the west tower - like he did every morning - Theon also needed his badge, his clearance pass and his passes for the rest of the castle. Luckily, he had all of that in the box between the driver and passenger seat, the one he needed a key to access, it's where he put them every morning before work and took them out before locking the car and going home every evening.

Theon took a few minutes to make sure Sansa's tower was safe. He had Jojen check upstairs, and he and Willas ran the parameter to make sure it was clear, with the help of one of the guards that were outside, leaving Podrick who had just arrived to keep an eye on Sansa's tower before he returned and could finally check on her.

Jojen and Willas had taken her to the nearest safe room. Each tower had it's own, Sansa's was accessible through the kitchen, a trapdoor beneath the kitchen island that was a bit difficult to move, if you didn't know how and where the lock for it was.

They had followed procedure to the dot.

He slowly descended down the ladder into the safe room, and he heard Sansa's voice almost immediately.

"You said ten minutes. It's been half an hour," there was evident anger in her voice. Fear too.

"I had to check every corner of the tower, to make sure everything is in order on our part."

"What's happened?"

"Someone broke into the castle through one of the towers."

"Ours?"

Ours?

The guys upstairs closed the opening in the floor. Dragging was heard next, and Theon realized they were moving the kitchen island too.

"No. Front east. That's where your brother Bran is, if I recall correctly. They broke the window, that's what set off the alarm," he was purposefully keeping his calm, collected, wanting to help her calm down.

"Did they catch whoever broke in?"

"Not yet. Your brothers were upstairs in the home theater, so it was empty. But everyone's safe and in safe rooms," he informed her, "You are too. There's four of us here just to keep you safe."

"And there's a kitchen island on top of my head," she stated, finally showing signs of feeling better, calmer.

"That too."

"Thank you."

"It's my job."

"I keep forgetting that. That I'm your job," Sansa spoke, her voice flat as she spoke.

"I didn't mean it that way."

"Would you give a shit about me if I wasn't? If I was some random girl you met at a bar. Would you give a shit then?"

"Yes," he admitted, "But you wouldn't give me a second look."

"Is that why you won't give me a chance."

"No, that's not why."

"Why then?"

"Because I can't risk not seeing you and leaving you with anyone else. Because I'm not sure if you really want me to give us a chance, or if it's because there isn't any other choice."

"If I wasn't lonely, I wouldn't choose you?"

She said the word and it fucking hurt, it felt like being sucker punched. Lonely. She was fucking lonely.

"I'm not exactly your league. You're millennia ahead of me."

"That's bullshit. Leagues aren't a thing. And the fact you think of yourself that way is ridiculous."

"Ridiculous," he repeats.

"Yes. Because I still want you. No matter how you see yourself."

Theon couldn't bring himself to look at her.

He no longer had something to hold onto, a reason, or better said an excuse, as to why not to let himself think of her that way. The only thing left was that she was his boss, the person he was there to keep safe. And that wasn't going to last forever. They probably wouldn't either.

What was he so fucking afraid of, anyway?

He heard her walking, fast paced footsteps approaching him from the other end of the safe room. She stopped right in front of him. Really close, close enough for him to kiss her.

That was exactly what he was going to do right there and then. If the radio didn't go off.

_"Everything clear. You can exit the safe rooms now."_

_"Greyjoy, we're in the main hall. We'll come get you in a few."_

"We can exit now. They'll open the trapdoor in a few minutes."

"That's it then?" she stood unmoved.

Of course it wasn't.

Theon placed his hands on Sansa's face, his thumbs timidly touching her cheeks as he leaned in to kiss her. His lips softly grazed hers, he was testing the waters, letting the spark he felt, Sansa's hands quickly landing on his sides and her holding onto him, to tell him whether or not he should go all on.

And the answer was a big fat and obvious yes.

* * *

"You're staying on my couch," Sansa said sternly, an order. They were walking back to her room, having just left the safe room.

"Miss?"

It was a charade. A play put on for the rest of the guys. It just took Theon a moment to realize that was what she was doing.

"I'm not comfortable being alone in my room for the rest of the night. I'll need you to stay on my couch. At least until I manage to fall asleep."

"Yes, miss."

It was the best order Theon had ever gotten.

  


She unbuttoned his suit and with a push of the fabric urged him to take it off. Then she pulled him onto her bed by his shirt and Theon was ready to do whatever she wanted him to, to go as far as she allowed.

Who knew that would be all the way.

* * *

Thinking of ways that he can spend a few moments alone with Sansa became what Theon did most of the time. With Podrick in his shift, he wasn't questioned too much. And not like he was the only crooked one and Sansa was completely innocent - she did the exact same thing. Stealing moments was the only way for them.

"Baking again?" he asked with a smirk.

Sneaking away fro a pretend glass of water was how Theon found himself in the kitchen with Sansa.

"You'll like this one," she replied and smiled back at him, "Have you ever had a Pavlova?"

"I don't know. Do you need any help?" he offered, hoping she'd say yes so he could stay a bit longer.

"How long you got?"

"Two minutes, maybe. I said I'm getting a glass of water."

"Can you stay again, tonight?"

Okay, so maybe she had something else in mind, and maybe Theon liked that idea.

"Depends on you. But if I stay all night, I won't be here in the morning."

"I can be traumatized for a few more days, including tonight. I think that'll get us a few hours. Should be enough time to do _that_ again. Then we'll have to figure this out," she spoke, keeping her tone of voice low and secretive.

"Yes, miss," Theon smiled at her, a little cocky and crooked smirk.

* * *

"So, no more homework, huh? You're not assigning any new titles to me, teach?" he asked her between kisses, lying with his back on Sansa's bed. He liked when she took control like that.

"Why should I give you that kind of homework, when I can see you excel at this?" she returned smiling, then she leaned down to kiss him again.

This, Theon realized, was his favorite activity, his favorite moments of the day. He wished there were more of them.

* * *

A week in and Sansa's fake fear had to stop cause it was getting ridiculous. Well, that and Theon's need to smile the entire time, that was the newest problem he had to deal with and was barely managing it.

They finally caught a break of sneaking around about ten days later when Sansa had a gala to attend in King's Landing. After an entire day of traveling, to their surprise, the hotel rooms they were assigned were joint ones.

Jojen and Willas had gotten there the day before and were once again on the night shift. And that gave Theon the freedom that Sansa had so desperately wanted him to have.

They got the chance to do regular boyfriend and girlfriend things together. Like share a meal and watch a movie, make out and cuddle, and share a bed.

And the one thing that Theon Greyjoy didn't think he'd say about Sansa Stark upon meeting her, was that she was a cuddler.

* * *

Theon could get used to waking up next to her.

He shouldn't, he knew. But he so easily could.

**six**

_"Pictured here, President Stark seemed to be in an argument with conservative party leader, Roose Bolton. Both the President's cabinet, and her former opponent for the position, have failed to make a statement about the situation. We'll update you on the situation as soon as we learn new information."_

Everyone was in the large conference room, the entire staff, from cleaners to security guards. All of them invited to watch a clip from the news that they had all previously seen.

"We kindly ask of you to not make any comments about the situation, whether you hear anything about it, or not. Pretend you haven't. Pretend nothing had happened. Pretend we haven't had this meeting. Remember you NDAs," the chief of staff said, "Do we have an agreement?" A soft murmur of each member of the staff resulted in a clear yes ma'am, "Good. Now please, everyone below a level A+ clearance, leave the conference room."

That meant Theon was to stay. He had a high clearance, one higher than A+. Higher than the rest of the security guards, that was for sure. He had always wondered why.

This meeting made sure to answer that question for him. The reason was because he was Sansa's security guard, and they didn't look at her as another one of the president's kids. They looked at her as an asset, one they were about to use.

As everyone left the room, and the doors closed, what followed was an uncomfortable silence. The president, the Starks, Theon, Seaworth - the president's security guard, and her team we're the only ones left in the conference room. His eyes met Sansa's and he would've smiled at her, if he wasn't so worried about what was going to happen next.

"That's Greyjoy," the president said to her advisers, and suddenly all eyes were on Theon himself.

"He'll do," the redheaded woman replied, "He'll have to."

Jesus. Right away with judgment. The fuck is going on here, he thought.

"Here's the truth. About a decade ago, back when I was still a prosecutor, I had a case that involved Bolton. He was guilty. He also offered me a bribe. Your dad had just lost his job, I panicked, so I took it and covered it up. He heard some speculation, the same old bullshit that has always surrounded him. He thought I still had some copies of the documents in my office and that when the break in happened, they got them," the president said, facing her kids. Fucking hell, "So we need to turn that attention away from any suspicion, and to point it in a different direction. No one should be digging into our past encounters. That's why we have a statement ready that we're putting out in an hour, his team are doing the same. The lie we're telling is that Sansa is dating his son, it had been some sort of shock over the thing," then she turned her full attention to Sansa, "I'm gonna need you to go out on a couple of fake dates with Ramsay, to bring credibility to the lie."

What?

"Mom," Sansa attempted, the shock evident on her face.

"It's not a question Sansa. It's an order."

Fuck. Shit. Fucking shit.

"Mr. Greyjoy, you and the members of your team will be accompanying them on every date. I needed you here to look through this file. It's for your eyes only, no one else in your team should know about it."

He accepted the file the redheaded woman was handing him. He immediately opened it. His eyes quickly scanned the page.

Shit. Holy motherfucking shit. Not good at all. He might not have known the name, but he'd recognize that face anywhere.

Theon had memories rushing back to him. Not good ones. Of him and Podrick coming out of a club and hear commotion in one of the alleyways. Of him hanging back to help the girl as Podrick ran after the dude.

"You may share with the room."

"Ramsay Bolton is a rapist."

"Allegedly," the president corrected him.

"With all due respect ma'am, you're wrong. I know one of these women on this list you have here, Talisa Maegyr. We went to the academy together. Podrick and I found her... them I guess. We drove her to the hospital. It's not alleged at all, I know it first hand."

"Mom, you can't be serious," Robb was the one protesting now.

"You, Mr. Greyjoy have to be very cautious of his every move. You need to be prepared for anything, as Ramsay is a tricky fucker who doesn't give up," the redheaded woman spoke again.

"Catelyn," Mr. Stark piped up, "I don't think this is a good idea."

"It's the only solution."

"She's not going to be safe."

"She'll have security guards with her at all times," the president seemed to be bargaining now, "You two should be getting to know each other. I want you to be able to know each other to the point where you don't need words to understand the other," the more her mother spoke, the angrier Sansa was getting, Theon could tell.

"How many dates?" she asked.

"That is yet to be determined. Until it blows over."

"Let me know," Sansa said, then stood up, heading towards the door. Theon read her movements and was already headed in the same direction, "Theon, a word."

"Yes miss."

* * *

Sansa was rushing away from the conference room, Theon followed every step of hers. She promised him a word, but she was yet to keep that promise. He was concerned, he wished he could know exactly what she was thinking about, if there was a way he could soothe her worries.

She kept up her quick pace until they were safe and alone, and she promptly stopped.

"You and Podrick found her?" she asked as soon as she turned towards Theon and her eyes found his.

"Yes," he said.

"And she was okay after?"

The line of questioning confused him. Then again, everything about her confused him. The only this that was clear to him about Sansa Stark were his feelings for her.

"Do you want to meet her?" he replied with a question of his own.

"And say what?"

"I don't know why you're asking me."

"Am I gonna..." she stopped mid sentence and refused to finish it, letting the words hang in the air with an unsaid question attached to them. And Theon understood. He knew what to say.

"Look at me, Sans. I'm not gonna let him lay a finger on you," he let his voice get low, as he cupped her face, "Do you trust me?"

"With my life."

* * *

_"The president and Mr. Bolton issued a joint statement regarding the situation that states 'We apologize for the concern this has caused you. We assure you that there wasn't a political motive to the exchange. What caused it was finding out that our kids have recently started dating. As political enemies, the shock of the news has been stressful, and as concerned parents we acted on it. We apologize and promise it won't happen again.' The statement has been met with support."_

"No going back now," Theon said.

"There never was," Sansa replied, looking at him with a concerned expression, "Just two more years. Hopefully not six."

"You still have me."

"You're the only good thing that came out of all of this."

  


Theon felt the exact same way.

* * *

It didn't sit well with Theon. It didn't taste well in his mouth. But he had no choice in the matter. So he was going to do everything he could, he wasn't going to let her be in any danger. Now more than ever.

And definitely not in the hands of Ramsay Bolton

**seven**

There's a first time for everything. Even for attending a dress fitting.

"If I had a choice, I'd be in a fucking full metal armor."

"With that boy, it wouldn't be of any help," the red headed woman was back at it again. Sansa rolled her eyes at Theon. She was much more relaxed about it all. He was curious to find out if it was because of her trust in him. Was she getting comfortable yet. Or maybe it was temporary.

* * *

The first fake date was at a restaurant. A really posh and extravagant one where the portion size was tiny and the price was enormous. There were reporters outside, as the time and location "accidentally" got shared with the media in an "intern mistake" press release email where the details just got included, you know, all so "casually" and "accidentally".

An hour into watching where Ramsay's arms and legs were, a realization struck Theon.

This was Sansa's crowd.

Not Ramsay exactly, but the posh and rich crowd with their suits and overpriced designer dresses.

Theon didn't exactly fit into that world.

  


The closest Ramsay got to trying to get it with Sansa that first fake date, were the sexual advances he made with his mouth. Dirty and disgusting ones, but Theon didn't have the right to reprimand him on what he was saying. And Sansa swore that she was tuning him out.

"Can we stop somewhere for a burger? That overpriced food was proper disgusting. Who the fuck wants to eat foam?"

It was just a few minutes into the car ride back to the castle that Sansa asked this question.

Then Theon felt like an idiot for even thinking about what he thought about.

* * *

"Please accompany me to the bathroom," Sansa told Theon as she walked away from Ramsay.

Second date. An art installation opening night at a gallery. Ramsay tried to grab her ass three times, and had Theon remind him of the rule all three times.

Sansa needed a break from it, Theon could tell from her sighs, from how her hands shook whenever Ramsay got a bit too close.

Podrick waited outside with her while Theon made sure the bathroom was empty. He then let her inside, and with Podrick guarding the door from the outside, she asked him to stay, for a word.

Sansa caught his hand and pulled him towards her, her lips quickly finding his. Now Theon realized why she insisted on no lipstick to the make up artist.

"What do you need?" Theon used the moment when their lips separated to ask her.

"Just you. For a few more moments," she said and kissed him again.

* * *

The latest decision, rather an order, after a long list of tweets about how the North's hottest couple doesn't hold hands, was to have them hold hands. To have them touch. For him to be able to put his hand around her waist.

It was leaving Theon with a heaviness in his chest. He wasn't able to touch her in public. He wasn't able to tell anyone about them, not even his sister.

He wished it were different, he really did.

Maybe one day.

Maybe never.

  


Ramsay tried again. His arms was becoming tighter on the back of Sansa's waist as he pulled her closer, so much so in fact that she wasn't going to be able to move is Theon let it continue any longer. This time he almost got away with it, but Theon found his way through the crowd and approached him right on time. He did his best to not make a scene.

"Sir, I have to ask you to loosen your grip."

"Or what? Do you know who my father is?"

"Do you know who my boss is?"

"Fine."

Theon started walking closer to them after that.

* * *

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup."

"You can talk to me."

"I know. But I don't want to talk right now. I just want to go to bed."

"Okay."

"Stay with me tonight."

"Sans..."

"Right. I let myself forget for a moment."

  


He felt her getting cold again. He felt her pushing him away.

He felt that he was losing her. And it scared him.

* * *

"Book club tonight?"

Theon was asked to stay out of the meeting, he complied and stood by the door. It wasn't a long meeting, but he had a feeling that it wasn't going to result in anything good.

By the look on her face when she exited her mother's office, it was solidified that his premonition had come true. Asking her about book club was his desperate attempt at reminding her of something that wasn't a duty. Of something theirs. Of somewhere where she was safe.

"Not tonight. They added a new event," she said, and walked away.

Theon was growing more and more worried about her every day. She had become a ghost of herself, it was worse than it was when she was grounded.

* * *

Theon's heart was breaking once more as he saw Sansa burst into tears in the backseat, on the drive back to the castle. Ramsay had been particularly nasty that night, with his words as much as with his fingers and touches.

Theon tried. She didn't want to talk to him about it.

But he knew.

She was at her breaking point.

Seeing her so hurt felt like having the weight of an entire continent in his stomach. And it was made worse by the fact that there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

He knocked on Sansa's bedroom door. He waited to hear a bit of shuffling on the other side of the door to address her.

"Can I have a word with you, miss?"

Sansa had locked herself into her room, as per usual in the last few days, but Theon couldn't take it anymore. He had to speak to her, her just had to.

She didn't say a word. All she did was turn the lock and with a click Theon knew the answer was a yes.

As he closed and locked the door behind himself, he looked at Sansa and his heart dropped. She had been crying again, her face red and her eyes swollen.

He reached out for her, his thumbs quickly brushing away her tears.

"What can I do?" he asked.

"Stay with me," Sansa managed.

To hell with them being found out. She needed him and he couldn't just walk away.

"Okay."

* * *

Another meeting. This time Sansa was promised that she'd receive the plans for how the rest of the stunt would unravel, and this time Theon was allowed to be present inside.

The atmosphere in the air wasn't a pleasant one. The tension could be cut with a knife. Neither Sansa nor the president seemed comfortable, or happy being there. They seemed irritated. Theon understood why that was, but he wished he could say something to the president. He wished he could tell someone who could get Sansa out of it about how bad she's getting.

"The PR team thinks it's best to wrap this up in about two months. We'll keep it very public for another month at least."

"I can't do it anymore," Sansa's voice broke as she spoke. The statement attracted the attention of everyone in the room. The turned their eyes on her and kept staring.

Her admission surprised Theon, he didn't think she could do it.

"Sansa..." the tone the president had sounded patronizing. Like she was trying to reason with a one year old.

"I really can't. He's not a nice person. I'm so stressed. I'm so afraid of him. I'm putting the person I'm in love with in the middle of this bullshit. I'm not even sleeping... I can't."

What?

"Repeat that?"

"What?" Sansa returned. She was either playing dumb, or she hadn't noticed what she said.

"Who are you in love with?" the president insisted.

Shit.

Her eyes quickly darted to Theon, then away, but it was too late, as the president followed the direction and connected the dots.

Fuck.

"Is that why he's wearing the same thing he was wearing yesterday?" she asked, and without letting any time pass, let alone enough time for an answer, she said "You're fired," an automatic response, she didn't even bat an eye at it.

"You can't," what left Sansa's lips seemed like a plea. She sounded like she had suddenly lost her voice.

"Leave, Greyjoy."

Theon looked at the anger on the presidents face and gulped, picking up all the courage he had to speak again.

"Yes ma'am."

Sansa was speechless at this, losing whatever hope she had left. With one last look at her, a slight nod in attempt to assure her that it'll be okay, he was gone.

**eight**

Theon was getting used to it, slowly. He was starting to adjust to life without walking castle hallways and watching everyone's every move.

He got his old job back. He was once again behind a desk, minding his business, going through data and looking for patterns in people's behaviors. It wasn't as exciting, but it was as equally important.

No one knew what happened. No one knew why he was back.

They just knew he was back.

And that, according to Varys, it was a temporary thing.

But Theon didn't believe that for a moment.

* * *

After he went to answer the knock on his apartment door, Theon wasn't greeted by a hello, or a friendly face. Rather a pissed off one.

"This is for you," Podrick said. He thrust a stack of Tupperware containers towards Theon before he even had the chance to walk into the apartment, "It's from Sansa."

"Is she okay?" the words left his lips immediately, like a reflex.

"No," Podrick said, his tone of voice implying that Theon was stupid for even asking, "All she does now is bake. She doesn't talk to anyone. And there's another one of those dates tomorrow night."

"Fuck."

Theon didn't expect good news. He didn't know what he expected really, but the reality of it was that in this scenario they were both so helpless.

"You should've told me," Podrick then said.

"I couldn't. I promised her I wouldn't."

"I get it. But you still should've told me. I could've helped. Besides, who would I tell?" Podrick's question floated in the air between them as an awkward silence developed. Only to be broken by Podrick himself, who was now changing the subject ever so slightly, "I'm also expected to let her know whether you enjoyed the food or not. So, dig in. And tell me you have beer."

"I'm stocked full."

"Good. Cause you're going to need it."

What was a bit of friendly advice about the situation he was in wasn't supposed to sound like a threat, so Theon didn't know why it sounded that way to him. It was probably the fear brewing in him, as he was aware of the mess that it all was.

But Podrick was right. Those simple pleasures turned out to be the highlights of his day.

  


He couldn't stop thinking about it, it was eating at his mind bit by bit. So stunned by all the things Podrick said, he forgot about the most important part. The housekeeping of it all.

He managed to catch Podrick in his car, on his way to the castle.

"Can you do me a favor?" Theon asked.

"Sure."

"Watch Ramsay's hands. Sometimes he slips them down slowly, sometimes he squeezes his fingers around her hand or wrist, or he pokes her. Just watch his hands."

"I got it."

No, not that. This was way more important than just 'got it'.

"Pod, I'm serious."

"I'm gonna keep her safe," the promise seemed to a genuine one, and Theon was satisfied with it.

"Who's on your shift now?"

"It's Willas. They have a new guy to accompany Jojen on the night shift."

That was about the worst thing that could happen.

"Not good. You should talk to Seaworth, tell him to put Jojen in your shift. He's a bit too relaxed to guide the night shift. Willas should be in charge at night, he knows the castle well and he sticks to the rules a bit too much. That is exactly what's needed for emergencies."

"Okay. I'll get it done."

Good. That sort of attitude was Theon needed in Pod.

"The hands," Theon repeated, wanting to hear reassurance again.

"I'll take care of everything. And I won't forget about the hands."

* * *

They were now even on the news. A 'they're still dating, guess their parent's told the truth' kind of report. The special corresponded talked about how they met, and the gifts he got her, and how much they loved each other.

And Theon felt so sad and sick to his stomach that he almost threw up.

* * *

"I saw her crying last night."

Evening number two with Podrick on his sofa, sipping bear and pretending to watch some sports match. There were no good news in the horizon, and Theon was starting to feel it take away his energy.

"Don't tell me that," he returned.

"You said to update you," Pod defended himself for a moment, then allowed himself to go into more detail, "She doesn't have her phone or laptop. And yeah, it's stupid cause she's a grown woman, but she apparently almost screwed it up, so she's ordered a break from social media and the outside world."

"Did you try to talk to her?" Theon felt as though he was taking a risk with the question, especially since he knew first hand how difficult Sansa was about speaking to people she didn't know well, or trust. It took her months before she talked to Theon for more than a hello. With Podrick she would be starting out from scratch.

"Yes, and I failed. But they're having this trip tomorrow, we'll be alone for like ten minutes, so I can probably sneak my phone in for a few," Podrick then said, and sipped from his beer bottle before he added, "Cause you might be having an awful time, but she's so much worse man, and you both need it."

"Pod, don't get caught. I really need you there, even more than..."

Podrick, waved his hand, motioning Theon to stop.

"Cut it out, please. Jojen's practically eating out of my hand. It'll be fine."

* * *

"Theon?"

"Hi love."

Sansa released a deep sigh, as if she felt ease for the first time in years. For a moment he thought she would cry. But for heaven's sake, he was closer to tears than her, pacing around the parking lot in front of the Intelligence Service building, trying to calm his nerves.

"Thank fuck. I've been worried sick. Podrick says you're okay, but I don't trust a word he says. I have no idea how you're doing and I miss you so much. And I'm sorry, okay. I'm so, so sorry."

"Hey. None of that. How are you? What have you been up to?"

"I have no idea what I've been up to."

"I miss you too," Theon said, finally, "And you can definitely trust Pod, okay. And I don't know when I'll see you next, or when we'll have the chance to do this again, in the meantime he's our messenger."

"Okay," he could hear it in her voice, she was second guessing him, but she finally said, "It's happening again, tonight."

"I know. I heard. You'll get through it. If anyone can do this thing, it's you," Theon paused after this, then added "And I told Pod about the finger thing, he'll watch out for it."

"Thanks."

"Absolutely no need to thank me. I promised you that I would keep you safe, and that's what I'm doing."

"I love you, Theon."

"I love you too."

* * *

He decided to pick up a new hobby.

He had watch Sansa cook for months now, and it had dawned on him that the best he could do was fry a sunny side up egg and either overcook it or accidentally pierce the yolk. He wanted to get a bit better at it, maybe even manage to make himself and entire meal.

He started with a simple recipe he found online about how to steam rice in a pot on the stove. He was looking for a well cooked but not wet afterwards recipe, and the one he found seemed to have only good reviews. He had some rice in the cabinets, from the last time his sister visited and bought him a whole lot of what she dubbed 'kitchen staples', after she learned that he only dealt with take out and whatever Podrick's mom invited him over for.

Theon maybe felt helpless, but he was going to learn to be helpful about some things, that's what he decided. Cooking was just his way of starting his journey on that quest.

* * *

"Is it horrible? Just tell me if it's horrible."

Theon went for a fried rice recipe, cause throwing stuff together and stirring seemed like his forte, and once he had the rice he had no idea what to do with it, really. This was the easiest, he thought, and he felt as though it was a good place to start. He thought it turned out pretty well. He didn't go overboard with the salt, it was all decently cooked, and it was not disgusting. He just needed Podrick's approval, so he could call it a victory.

"It's not horrible," Podrick's tone seemed ever so slightly patronizing, but beggars can't be choosers, so Theon just went with it, "It's a bit too oniony for my taste, cause I overall despise onions, but it's good."

"A good start?"

Podrick looked at him, and Theon knew what was going to follow.

"What's the goal here, man?"

Okay, Theon thought, play it innocent so he won't realize the extent of it.

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you cooking all of a sudden? Beside missing Sansa."

"I don't know," Theon lied, he knew exactly, he just didn't want to say it right away. He wanted to make it seem like he hadn't thought about it, when he had. He psychoanalyzed himself so much so, that he was ready to set a diagnosis, "Maybe, I'm hoping to feel like I'm doing something, and not wasting time moping around the apartment for things I can't change, even if I tried."

"If that's the case, then absolutely, this is a good start."

"But?" he queried.

"No buts. Just work on it a bit more. You can't expect me to tell you that you should open a restaurant because of some cooked rice and sauteed veggies."

Beside the positive comment, Theon understood most of that sentence.

"What's sauteed?"

"See, you need to work on it some more."

"How do you know that word?"

"My mom."

"Oh," a bright idea popped into Theon's head, "So if I have any cooking questions?"

"Call me, I know who to ask."

* * *

Theon did work on it more. Mostly because of the wasting time reason, he felt as though learning something wasn't exactly wasting time. It made him feel better about himself. But he had other reasons too.

He started reading more in his free time, keeping his mind occupied. At least trying to, and failing, cause Sansa never left his thoughts.

He started watching cooking shows and videos he found online, learning the terminology better, that's the one thing he was most successful at, because it didn't require for him to solely focus on something. It was like watching TV with a dual screen, one had the show on, the other had Sansa.

Besides missing her and worrying about her, Theon was feeling okay about himself.

He even learned what sauteed meant.

* * *

Everyone in the Intelligence Service office was buzzing with excitement. Except for Theon.

The president was going to visit, and she was far from his favorite person as of late, it was understandable why he wasn't excited. Matter of fact, he dreaded the moment she was going to arrive.

In the days that followed the announcement of her visit there was a communal spirit in the offices. Beside doing their work, they were cleaning up their desks, the offices and cubicles, the cleaning crew was making sure the floors were clean. If it were spring, Theon would've known how to title the efforts everyone was making. But this was something he found odd and completely out of character and refused to participate in.

His cubicle was clean anyway, his desk was in order, each item on it set perpendicularly to the rest. The only thing that was out of place on the desk was a file on something he was no longer working on.

But he kept is as it was too important to throw out. He had some emotional attachment to it as well.

The little flap on the side of it said the same words, Sansa Stark, but by now they had faded a little bit.

* * *

Theon successfully avoided the president during her official visit at his work. He made copies for everyone, he volunteered to get lunch for whoever wanted from that fancy place three blocks over, he even asked to deliver documents to the archive in the basement.

He did all he could.

Who knew that his attempts wouldn't matter at all. Catelyn Tully Stark was the fucking president of the country. When she wanted to see and talk to someone, she saw and talked to them.

Theon learned this as he stayed after hours to finish up all the work he missed out on during all his running around in attempt to avoid her.

* * *

"Mrs. President."

"Greyjoy."

He was frankly stunned by her being there, but he had to gather himself

"Can I get you anything?"

"An explanation would be nice," she said. She then pulled up a chair from outside the cubicle. There was always an empty one next to Theon's, they used those in case the stacks of files got too much for the desks. She took a seat opposite of Theon, now they were face to face and he couldn't run. _The_ conversation was about to be had, "Is there something magical about you?" she then asked him.

"Excuse me?"

"See, this morning I walked into the office and I was greeted by the sight of my daughter begging for me to bring you back to work. So I was just wondering, what was so magical about you that she had to do that?"

"I don't know," Theon admitted.

"That's what I was afraid of," she said and paused, her eyes quickly finding the open file folder on his desk, the file on Sansa he constantly visited as it was where the only picture of her he was allowed to own was located. When she looked back at him she was changed, it was as if he was talking to a different person, "Do you live alone?" she asked. Even the pace of her words was quicker.

"Yes?" he was unsure of why she was asking.

"Have you been married?"

Oh. Now he got it.

"No. And I'm sure you know that already."

With the background research they do on everyone, she might even know what he had for breakfast.

"How did your last relationship end?"

"She cheated on me."

That had to be what she was looking for in the exchange.

"How's you sister doing?"

Nope. He was wrong. There it was. The bit of personal information that had to be in the file they had on him. She didn't care about Theon's relationships with his exes, she cared about his relationship with his family. Cause he was about to enter one hell of a family.

"She's doing good. She's in King's Landing at the moment, but she's coming to town next week."

"Okay," the president paused again, taking it in, "You can have your job back. But not on Sansa's security team. On mine. You two can see each other, date or whatever. You can even stay the night with her. But if you hurt one single hair on her head..."

"I won't," he cut her off with a promise because that wasn't something he liked to think about. Hurting her would mean an end to them, and Theon was not interested in any of that. Ever. Especially the hurting part.

The president nodded at him.

"She'll have to keep fake dating the Bolton kid for a few more weeks, of course. Then you two can transition... Or I don't know how the team will figure it out. Whatever they decide."

"Yes ma'am."

"Tomorrow morning. Your good suit, you'll get everything back from what's his name, the one at the door right now," she said and pointed.

Seaworth, that's who she was talking about. Everyone knew Seaworth, he was the only one who had enough power to make decisions for the rest of them. He was almost in charge of the entire security detail, so her statement surprised him.

He shook it away, though, cause the most important part was that he was back. He was back with Sansa.

"Yes, Mrs. President," he said.

**nine**

Theon waited for her in the kitchen. He used his break to pay her a visit, and had no problem going through her security. Podrick pretended not to smirk, and Jojen even winked at him, the bastard.

He knew her schedule by heart. Around the same time as his break she started making herself lunch, and he figured that this would be the best opportunity for them to see each other. He leaned against that cabinets, and waited almost restlessly.

The first thing Sansa did when she saw him was rush towards him. She then wrapped her arms around him, squeezing tightly with no hints of ever letting go. Theon did the same.

"I'm sorry," she whispered against his chest.

"No, don't do that," he returned, taking in the moment. If he could stay that way all day, that would be perfect, "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

* * *

"It's stupid that I still have to do this."

"I know."

"It sucks."

"Yes, it does."

"Shouldn't you be more angry than this?"

"I am. But I don't see what sharing my anger with you is going to accomplish. Besides, you're still coming back to me."

"That's true."

"You can do it. It's all near the end."

Sansa nodded as she took in a deep breath.

"I'm so glad you're here."

"I am too."

* * *

The second to last time Sansa had to be publicly seen with Ramsay was at a charity event that the president also attended, which meant that Theon also had to be there. And to his surprise, he had let himself forget how much he minded seeing her around him, how much he minded that Ramsay was allowed to touch her.

Fuck.

His fingers were around her wrist and they were getting tighter.

"You okay there, Greyjoy," Seaworth asked, which prompted for the president to turn her attention to him too.

"Yes. I'm fine."

"What's up?" the president asked him.

His eyes quickly shot to where Sansa and Ramsay were, and now Podrick was warning Ramsay, who had finally completely given up on physical contact.

"Nothing."

"Did something happen?" she insisted.

"Almost. They have it under control."

* * *

The weirdest thing that happened to Theon was on one of the Friday nights when Sansa's older brothers were visiting. And the weird thing in fact was their behavior toward him. He didn't expect the open arms attitude they had to offer, how nice they were toward him.

It was the first time he had experienced such a thing.

* * *

Sansa was out for a late afternoon date with Ramsay, one that according to the PR team that paid them a visit in the morning before Theon's shift started, one including the redheaded woman with strong opinions, was going to be the last date before the "break up".

What the professionals had set up was a walk in a park, one that required a whole lot of touching, and the sheer thought of it was causing Theon uneasiness. So he made a decision that would help keep his mind occupied.

Sansa was going to arrive about an hour after Theon was off work. And considering he had been teaching himself how to cook, had seen all of those cooking shows and had actual recipes saved to his phone, making some dinner for her seemed like a good gesture.

* * *

He set up the table to the best of his abilities. What he wanted it to look like, what he envisioned and what he pulled off were two separate things, but at least he tried. It wasn't looking too shabby, there were flowers and tea candles in colorful candle holders that Sansa had. He even had a color theme, he matched what he could with what he found. It occupied his mind very well.

And in the end he managed to do what he set out to do. He successfully surprised Sansa.

"What's this?" she asked him, an ever so slightly confused look on her face.

"I made us dinner," Theon said, "I thought you'd be hungry."

"I am," she nodded, the realization washing over her.

"I also thought we could celebrate your newfound freedom," he added, to which Sansa gave him a smile.

"What did you make?"

She placed her shoulder clutch down on the table and took a seat.

"It's a surprise," Theon smiled back at her.

"Surprise me, then."

**ten**

The president had a new economic plan to unveil and then promote. She had called in a press conference, mandated the appearance of all her children there, among the journalists, to further drive home the point of how much support she has. The plan was one that was going to cause many changes in the country, paycheck raises, slight tax raises, changes in the import and export policies, all of them aiding the situation in the country. It was supported by both parties, by all the other countries in Westeros as it was expected to make the North the richest region on the continent. The only ones who didn't support it were a small fraction in the conservative party, so small in fact that it was barely a dozen, and were titled as extremists by everyone else. Despite their name, no one expected them to cause any issues.

But they did.

When the first shot was heard, right outside of the press room at the Ministry of Finance, most of the people in the room ducked and hid under their chairs the best they could. Seaworth and the guys took the president in the back, Theon stayed in the room, he saw some heads popping up, he couldn't let anyone else be in danger.

When the gunman entered the room, he quickly scanned the room and headed straight towards the Starks. Well, towards one of the Starks. Right towards Sansa. Theon headed that way too, pulling his own weapon out of the holster, he knew there was only one thing left for him to do. Protect Sansa.

He got to her just in time to cover her with his body. He took aim at the shooter and pulled the trigger. He got him. However, he was just a moment too late.

The shooter got Theon as well.

* * *

At first it felt like being stung by a bee. But Theon knew what happened. He knew it was about to get worse, he had seen it so many times.

The realization of what had happened and what was about to turned into shock. He lost his balance and fell to the ground, knees first. As he fell back someone's arms softened his landing. Sansa. She was okay.

It wasn't just anywhere, he was hit in the upper arm and by the amount of blood gushing out of there, he suspected it was near a vein.

"Get her out of here!" he heard Seaworth' voice. He only then realized that the guys had come back.

"Don't touch me," she hissed at the men trying to approach her, "Call an ambulance!" she was shouting louder now.

"Sansa," he managed, staring into Sansa's eyes for one last time. If he had to go, this was the way. In her arms.

"Don't..." Sansa attempted through the tears that were gathering in her eyes, "Stay with me."

He couldn't. He felt the pull of sleep taking over him. Closing his eyes felt right, felt needed. Felt like it was the only thing that could help with the burning he was feeling. He knew that he was about to die. He couldn't do that without letting her know.

"I love you," the words came out in a raspy voice he did not expect.

"Don't. Theon, don't say goodbye."

The distress on her face was the last thing he saw.

And then it cut to black.

* * *

What followed were snapshots.

An ambulance ride. Nurses. Hospital lights. Sansa. Voices he recognized but couldn't attach names to right away. More hospital lights. More nurses. Doctors too.

Theon was drifting in and out of consciousness for what felt like hours.

The only constant seemed to be the pressure around his hand.

Sansa was holding on and not letting go.

Not until she had to.

* * *

"Come on, we're leaving," her mom said.

"I'm not leaving," Sansa replied.

They could try to persuade her, even carry her out of the hospital, but there was still no way that she would leave Theon alone.

"Don't be difficult. It's not like he can go anywhere. And people can't know about..."

"You don't know what difficult is."

The rest of the family were silent, not wanting to get in the middle of the exchange. The only one that Sansa felt was on her side was Arya, who was rubbing circles on her back.

"Sansa."

"You don't get to say my name like it means something. There's only one person who gets to do that, and he just took a bullet for me. I. Am. Not. Leaving."

"I can't leave you alone," her mom tried to reason with her.

"I'll stay with her," Jon offered immediately.

"No," a stern one, coming from someone with too much power, "This is an order," she then said to Sansa. But she was having none of that.

"I'm not taking any more of those, you've filled your quota."

"Catelyn, stop. I'll stay with her," her dad attempted.

"No. She's being ungrateful."

"I'm being ungrateful?" her voice almost cracked. Her mom's words felt like a betrayal, like the last straw was being drawn. Sansa felt the urge to say everything, all the bullshit that she had let accumulate inside her. She kept her voice calm and quiet as she spoke, but the anger was leaving with every word, "I have asked for one single thing in these last three years. I didn't say anything when I had to turn my entire world upside down so you could run for president. I didn't say anything when I got told to move with my entire family instead of taking one of the job offers I had, and starting my life. I didn't say anything when I lost contact with all of you and almost all my attempts at a conversation or spending time with any of you flopped, cause you're all preoccupied with yourselves and no one gives a shit how I'm doing. I barely objected when I had to pretend to be dating a man who did nothing but insult me while making sexual advances, even attempting to grope me on multiple occasions. Your dream came true, your rating might have gone up cause of the stunt, but I lost everything, the jobs I worked so hard for, my friends, all communications with the outside world, even my fucking will to live. I have no other life than Theon. So no, this thing right here won't be the way you want it to be. It'll be my way and my way is I stay and you fuck off. All of you entitled shits."

* * *

Sansa never left his side. She barely left his room. She didn't plan to leave him alone ever again. She didn't plan on letting anything come between them ever again. It wasn't going to be one of those stories. What they had was special. When she was with him, and only then she was alright with everything that was going wrong.

And it was going to remain that way. It had to.

* * *

With one hand around Theon's Sansa was hunched over the bed, a book opened in front of her, flipping the pages with the other. A book that they were going to read together, but she left unopened as they got caught up in their emotions. She asked Robb to get it from her room and bring it to her, he did, no questions asked. She was reading it to him, one of the nurses urged her too. We don't know if he's listening, or not, she told her, but it'll help you.

Robb and Jon were the most supporting ones, but then again, they had always been that way. Arya was too, as much as she could, at least she tried her best to to be by trying to reach out, but Sansa knew she was too busy with school to be able to do it properly. Her dad tried, but he had his hands tied for the most part. So she relied on her older brothers for emotional support.

She was just about to start a new chapter, when the door of the room opened.

"How is he doing?" a woman with shoulder length brown hair asked her. Someone she hadn't met before, and from the unpolished look she was sporting, Sansa suspected it wasn't someone her mom sent, or someone from Theon's work. If she was, she wouldn't have gotten in anyway. The order was that only Sansa, Podrick, who mostly waited for her outside the room and occasionally came in to bring her some water or food, and Theon's family were allowed into his room. Especially after her mom almost started a fight.

Theon's family. That's what she had to be.

"He's healing up well. We're just waiting for him to wake up."

The woman nodded, processing the answer.

"Have you been holding his hand this entire time?" the woman asked again, this time a question Sansa couldn't bring herself to answer. The answer was yes, but she knew what that meant, and she hadn't said it out loud yet, not to him, "It's okay. I get it," she then said, paused before adding, "It's Sansa, correct?"

"Yes."

"I'm Yara. I'm his sister."

"Nice to meet you."

"You too," Yara said and nodded. She pulled up one of the chairs closer to the bed and took a seat, "All it took for him to stop with the constant yammering was for him to get shot," she then said, catching Sansa off guard. She had gotten so used to the distance that had to be between them that had to be there every day. But it was true. Theon liked to talk. As of late, he was always talking about something when they were alone. Sports, work, stories about growing up. Asking her questions about her and listening, then asking more cause he wanted to know the details. Always talking about something. Sansa didn't have the pleasure of someone's company so often for so long, that she didn't mind it at all, "Growing up I thought his favorite thing was of the sound of his own voice," she then added.

"Right," Sansa agreed, but the uncertainness was clear in voice.

"You hadn't noticed?"

"We spend a lot of time being professional with each other, so much so, that I really didn't. I'm only now realizing."

"Better late than never," she stated, seconding it with a soft smile, "Do you want to hear stories about him as a kid? I think that's the only thing that'll keep me sane at the moment."

"Absolutely."

* * *

When Theon finally woke up it was three days after he got shot and Sansa was on the last page of the book. She was finishing up, knowing Yara was going to come around soon, they had a plan set in motion. Sansa finally felt able to leave the hospital for an hour or two, a quick trip to the nearest hotel for a shower and a change of clothes.

She was deep in thought as she read the last words out loud, and she almost wasn't going to notice it. But he moved ever so slightly, and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. He head jerked up from the page.

"Theon?"

"Sans," his eyes found her and he felt fine again. Except for the dryness of his throat, "Water."

"Here," she said and quickly reached out for the pitcher and glass the nurses changed of every few hours or so, "Podrick! Call the nurse."

"Pod's here?" Theon asked, still confused by everything.

"Yes miss?"

"Call the nurse."

"Hey Pod," he said.

"Hey Greyjoy. I'm fucking glad you're alive," Podrick replied, taken aback "Right away, miss."

"You can let go of my hand now, Sans."

"Never," she was smiling at him

"That works too."

* * *

"The amount of love that you two have for each other is annoying as fuck," Yara said to Theon. He had finally persuaded Sansa to have a break, maybe even a nap outside of the hospital. Beside, his sister was here now, and Sansa was more at ease with Yara there. He knew they would hit it off, "It's also kind of odd and hilarious to see you so gone for someone. I haven't witnessed that before."

They were playing scrabble on the bed, the board set on the tray that was easy to move. He was basically obliterating her.

"You're just jealous."

"I absolutely am. You were supposed to walk me down the isle first, not the other way around," she said, her facial expression too serious. It made Theon laugh, even though it was stupid. And he wasn't supposed to laugh, "Sorry. Honestly, I'm really happy for you. Though I have no idea how this thing will work, considering her mom and all. Sansa told me."

"She'll soften up. I've seen it happen before."

"I hope you're right," Yara smiled at him, "Cause you deserve it. Both of you."

**epilogue: the next five years**

_"The relationship between the first daughter Sansa Stark and Ramsay Bolton, the son of conservative party leader Roose Bolton is officially over. The young couple have called it quits after six months, on apparently amicable terms. They have issued a statement in which they have called their relationship 'a beautiful roller coaster' and have stated that they have 'nothing but admiration for each other'. Apparently, their the end of their relationship had been brought on by 'differences in opinions and beliefs that had become impossible to ignore'. The relationship that sparked lots of controversy, has been one of the most talked about in the history of the North. It's sad to see the saga end this way. But we wish them both the best."_

"He can rot in hell," Sansa stated, her head against Theon's chest as they lied on her bed, watching the news.

"Sounds good to me," Theon agreed, savoring the moment as she tightened her arms around him.

* * *

There wasn't an announcement about their relationship. It was just speculation after a disgruntled employee added it to a list of secrets about the current administration. There wasn't a need for any statements to be made, as to everyone asked, Theon was the guy who took a bullet for Sansa and no one minded them dating.

There was no scandal.

They were allowed to be themselves with it.

* * *

When the entire family was invited for very important meetings, in everyone's understanding it stood that Theon was included.

"I'll be running for a second term," the president announced at one of those meetings.

Sansa squeezed Theon's hand under the table in the conference room.

"If she wins a second term, I'm going to need you to fully move in."

"Okay, you have a deal."

* * *

Theon moved in two months before the inauguration. He packed only the things he absolutely needed, leaving everything else in the apartment where Yara was now staying and making her own.

Theon still worked as one of the president's guards. Sansa took up some work of her own, insisting on 'helping' with the planning of the charity and good deed projects, taking complete control of it soon after. It made her happy. It made Theon happy to see her so happy.

They made a life of their own in the castle, came up with their routine. Sometimes they went away for a day or two, to catch breaks from the stressful lives they ran. They had people over more often than Sansa did, with Theon annoyingly bothering each of their sisters for visits so Sansa would never ever feel even a crumb of loneliness.

He did his best to make her happy. And to his surprise it was working.

* * *

"Four years ago you despised me."

"Four years ago I barely knew you."

"I stand by what I said."

"I do too."

"Are you ready for this?"

"Absolutely. Besides, it just four more fucking years. We can manage."

"Yes, we can."

* * *

"I'm nervous."

"There's absolutely nothing to be nervous for, bud. You got us. All of us. Your sister will help you along too, will you?" Sansa spoke to her kids from the passenger seat of the car, turning around to face them.

They were driving them to school, first day of the school year, with their younger one, a boy, just starting out. Their older one, a girl, had been in school for a couple of years now. They had taught their kids to be close and protective of each other, it was one of their proudest achievements.

"Yes, I will."

"See?" Theon queried.

"Plus, you're in Mr. Waters' class. He's like the coolest, everyone loves him. I wish he was my teacher," she then added.

"Your aunt wishes he was her teacher too," Theon deadpanned.

"I still haven't told her, you know," Sansa said to him.

"We're definitely going to send her to a parent teacher meeting."

"Absolutely."

"You know, I was worried about my first day too," their daughter spoke again, "But grandma said to me that if anyone gives me too much grief, just to remind them that she used to be president and that she still knows people, whatever that means."

"Let's call that your last resort, okay," Theon suggested.

"Okay," both kids agreed.

"But it works like a charm, every time," the little girl said, and returned her attention to the book in her hand.

**Author's Note:**

> again, I’m on twitter now, [@irene123fromao3](https://twitter.com/irene123fromao3)  
if you follow me, let me know that you’re from ao3 so I can follow you back.  
thank you for reading!


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